Hello! And welcome! Mostly...

I luffs sitting in an Adirondack chair and especially here…

…there is something about that type of chair that makes me chill.

I luffs verandahs (porches) and such and could spend hours sitting here…

...or here.

That hammock has my name written all over it!

My down time is so incredibly important to me and that`s where I spend most of my time. Relaxing in chairs with nature and life all around me. Can`t go wrong with that now can I?

Ta.

It seems to me and Mr that where we now live is on another planet than before yet it is only a mere hop, skip and a few jumps from the old digs.

It is quiet despite living on a street filled with young children, dogs and stay-at-home mums.

There are three cops living on our street which is reassuring. The neighbors are friendly enough.

We have not found one reason to complain about our home. It is closer to all the amenities than before. It is a younger neighborhood and obviously does not have the ‘mature’ look in place but that can hardly be a complaint now can it?

We love the space, the homey feel we had the moment we stepped into our house and have quickly laid down roots.

Having said that though, it seems like we are on holiday as there is a freshness to our life and our home which is a bit weird but thoroughly enjoyable.

Have a fantastic day my friends.

Hugs and kisses

There are some people who thrive at work. They enjoy what they do and truly don’t find it work. Truth be told, they would do it anyway and getting paid is an added bonus.

I admire these folks.

I take pleasure in watching them work and soak up their joy.

My job is not a joyful one by the very nature of the job I do. I take pride in what I do, am glad to service so many people and know that I have helped them in one way or another but at the end of the day, I leave it at the door and make my way home to where my living really begins.

I stumbled into this job as I had applied for many and as a single mum of two kids (at that time) when offered this job, I accepted as we needed to eat and pay rent and it was my responsibility to provide that.

I was thrown into a world that I never knew existed and despite enduring mahoosive growing pains, I can thank this job for many, many things that I have received as a result of working in the biz so to speak

But it is just a job that allows me to do many things outside of my work hours and there will always be a part of me that wishes I had that oomph that others enjoy when they are doing something they love.

What I do is not important as it could be any type of job and I don’t plan on changing it for many reasons, some simple and some not.

Ta.

Are you a competitive person?

Does being competitive mean you are insecure or overly confident?

A bit perplexing that.

Now I used to be highly competitive and that tendency lasted for years.

I had to prove to everyone that I was the best at everything and everyone else was just less than me as a result.

Looking back, I now believe that was when I was at the height of my insecurity as a person which was also my saving grace as that competitiveness which can be defined as misguided arrogance if there ever is such a thing, got me through many a difficult time that I may not have survived as well as I did.

Nowadays, I am so far removed from the competitive edge as I move within my own skin these days and I am cool with that.

And truth be told, being competitive and maintaining that competitive edge takes waaay too much energy and I can't be arsed about it all.

Not that being competitive is a bad thing but in my situation, it was not always the optimal situation.

Having said that, every now and again, the competitiveness creeps out when Mr is around as that’s just part of what we do and that’s the spice of life now innit?

Have a fantastic day, afternoon or evening wherever you may be and whatever you may be doing.

Ta.

Yonks ago, Mr and I spent 11 hours on our first date in a park, eating grapes, cheese and crackers, drinking wine, lying back on a blanket and talking about our dreams, our goals and our desires as individuals.

It wasn’t love at first sight but it sure was something.

I remember telling him that I had no intention of being a girlfriend but wanted a commitment, not necessarily from him but from someone and sooner rather than later as I was shite at dating and needed the comfort and security of a committed, loving, enduring relationship that blossomed as the years passed.

Not that I had anything to compare that to as I didn’t but I knew that I deserved it, could nurture it and also knew that if you didn’t set the terms for a relationship, you would never enjoy what your heart desired.

There wasn’t room for compromise as I was fed up with turmoil, angst and drama.

I ended that conversation with the following words, ‘If that is not your dreams, goals or desires, then we had a great day today but that’s it. I’m done. I am not interested in ‘dating’ per se and would rather be alone than play any games.’

Mr smiled brightly said not one word and we have been together ever since.

That was in August 1991. We married May 1993. And look forward to many, many years of us.

Ta.

Do you buy food or household items when you have run out of the item or do you keep a running supply in the house?

I do the latter.

I buy stuff as it is getting low because Gawd forbid it runs out.

Now Mr is of the other persuasion.

His natural inclination is to buy food or household items when you have run out.

Hence, the grocery shop quandary.

However, Mr is a smart man and 18 plus years of living with me has taught him that you might as well do what the boss little woman wants (at least in this situation) if only to get out of the store under an hour or so.

And you?

What's your m.o. when it comes to grocery shopping? Do you stock up or let the foody stuff run out and then buy?

Ta.

This little girl...

...takes her job seriously.

When either of her parents are away from the house, she hunkers down by the front door and waits for them to come home.

She often guards a pair of their shoes that they left at the door.

This is serious business you know as other dogs or a kitty kitty might wander by and threaten the very state of those shoes!

She is willing to guard these shoes and keep sentry until her parent(s) come home and extracts her price by insisting on mucho scritches, squeezes, loves and pats with the occasional freshly cooked piece of chicken or slice of cheddar cheese thrown in for good measure.

It's a hard life but someone has to do it!

Have a fantastic Wednesday!!

Hugs and kisses

I have been ‘living’ in these at the mo…

…and they are so dang comfortable.

I have another green pair somewhere in the house just waiting to be found. I have no idea how I will cope with proper shoes and then boots come Fall and then Winter.

That’s the one thing I hates about the bloody Canadian winters is the layers of clothes you need in order to cope with the dastardly cold temperatures and mahoosive amounts of snow.

I remember loving all types of weather as a child. Nothing fazed me. Mind, I never walked 3 dogs, 3 times per day in it so had no reason to complain. And spots on my glasses from rain or snow is enough to send me running for the prozac drip. Drives me crazy those spots do.

And back to my days as a kid…

During the summer, I think I spent more days running bare foot than I did in shoes. Stubbed many a toe I did but that still didn’t compel me to wear shoes.

I never worried about stepping in doggity-do or catching any sort of foot fungus and them were the days when my life was carefree and the biggest challenge of the day was how to build a fort up in the bushes or to try and convince my parents that I needed to stay up past 9pm on a summer’s day.

*sighs*

Life was simple back then and at that time, I thought I was hard done by as a child.

Don’t we all?

And then we grow up.

Ta.

* you either grow together in a relationship or die a very painful death

* heard a powerful statement from a casual person the other day ’the war is over’; makes sense and sums it up for me; if you need to hear you win well then so be it; I’m done and moving on.

* my normal is not your normal and it is all relative now innit?

* did some blog-hopping yesterday and happened to land on some interesting blogs. Go you!

* peaked into some ‘friendly’ blogs *coughs* and confirmed why I ran away; trust your memory and your instincts I say

* still ‘fishing out’ snails in the bleeding tank and wondering where those bastids are coming from as it was ‘empty’ for a week during the move and supposedly dry. Pfft!

* the Ninja moths came with us to the new house as they hid in the frickity canary seed which has been pitched; in attack mode with my handy dandy paper towels and may those buggers rest in peace *ahem*

* played and beat the Nintendo DS game ‘Mario & Luigi – Partners in Time’ *woohoo* might account for the crick in my right shoulder.

* my right bicep is bigger than the left thanks to Molly G tugging on me, me playing vid games constantly and doing the hand weights incorrectly perhaps? *nob that I am*

* coldest summer since 1992…d’oh! August is suppose to be better *prays to the Weather Gawds*

That is all.

xxxxx

This is the hallway between the bedrooms upstairs. Isn't it wide? And all the more a dog run don't you think?

There's Molly peeking out her bedroom and is looking for Sam and Puddum.

Here's Puddum looking directly at Molly who is lying on her bed in her room.

Here's Molly in her 'bed'. She has decided that this bed is her bed and that's that.

And then there is Sam just relaxing after breakfast.

This house is not really our home but it is the Trio's home and we just live here to make sure they enjoy all the comforts!

It's a dog's world.

In my next life, I hope to come back as a pampered dog. Or a cat. Fish. Maybe even a bird as long as I get an owner who spoils me I'll be sorted.

ta.

... fresh snow peas I eats them by the handfuls

... my homemade granola

... kashi bars ya can google it for more info

... fresh, deep red cherries fruit and veg in the summer is ace!

... dark chili chocolate only 2 squares every now and again

... roasted veg of any sort, grilled to perfection with just the right amount crunch

...homemade raisin bran muffins *parps*

...that first cup of coffee in the morning two sugars, cream and a mahoosive mug please

...barbeque'd mesquite salmon the flavour is deeevine

Nom!

Yes, it is a food addiction but who cares?

*pats her belly*

Could be worse.

In other news, yesterday was a crusty, buttered bun and homemade, chicken soup day. My body craved chicken soup so it was made and scarfed. Just what the doctored ordered.

Ta.

My throat has got that feeling to it. Ya know the kind where you think, 'Oh joy. I am getting laryngitis.'

Mr will be pleased.

*snrk*

BUT....

I am set to shoot some scenes for a video a team of us are making for work. Sounds more spiffy than it is but it is an informational video and important for its target audience.

And, I do need to talk.

Eeep!

Now when I heard that not only would the team be writing the script and designing the video but also in the video as well, we all looked at each other and blanched.

I hates a camera on me. I rarely take good pictures as I am either blinking, mouth open or drooling (hahahaha) when the camera snaps so I am self-conscientious to say the least. The one picture I have that is decent is the one posted yesterday and that is few and far between I can tells you!

So the shoot is Wednesday and I sound like Marlene Dietrich now which may not be a bad thing if my voice doesn't crack.

Speaking of videos, when Mr and I married over 16 years ago, his father took a video tape of our wedding vows and I have never seen the footage and never will. Blah!

If I never see the footage of this upcoming video then I am cool with that. which isn't going to happen as we will be approving the video as well...pah!

*mwah*

hugs and kisses

It would appear that the air fresheners I have been buying do not agree with me.

*sniffles*

I am allergic to something in them if my swollen, reddish eyes and runny, itchy nose are anything to go by.

Damn shame as I love the smell of lilacs albeit in an air freshener. I mean I do love the original smell of lilacs and back at the old house, I had a purple lilac tree that had tons of blooms on it.

Looked ever so gorgeous and I would snip some off and plunk them throughout the house in the Spring.

Memorrriesssss!

It continues to rain here (last night and this afternoon) and I got to thinking of the warm, summer rains during my childhood where my friends and I loved to run about in the rain. We never minded getting wet and there were a few times when we grabbed a bottle of shampoo and washed our hair in the rain.

Nowadays, if I am caught in the rain you would think I had died! The moaning and the crying heard this way is ridiculous. It IS only water.

*eye twitches*

Mr and I have plans to head out to an auction in Brighton tomorrow for some antiques but that may not happen as it is an hour's drive away from home and since Sunday's are lazy, well, we are lazy and the rest is history.

Have a fabulous Sunday!

....or will be come next March.

So, I am 49 years old and have packed a lot of living into those years with a heck of a lot left to do.

Longevity on the paternal side shines through and my Nana lived till she was 99 years old. I plan to outlive that number.

Go me!

The best advice my Nana gave me was that looking back on her life she said that she 'wished I had ate more cake'.

Amen to that.

The bottom line I guess is to live your life the best way you know how and enjoy today as tomorrow will be here soon enough.

That's me sorted.

Thanks to one SIL for taking the pic and the other SIL for cropping it. WOOT!

Spoke to a dear friend a few weeks ago and she apologized for telling me about herself and her boy for they have a fabulous relationship and enjoy one another.

Oh my friend, said I.

I love to hear about positively enriching relationships that flourish and grow. It is inspirational and hopeful and pleases me to no end.

So please share all your joys and all your sorrows for that is life now isn't it?

Now, my Saturday will be busy but lovely and I expect the same for you.

Have a fantastic day!

If you could, would you want to know what your future holds?

I would!

And is there anybody out there that can predict my future?

* Mr LUFFS me in a flowing dress or a skirt. Dunno why really but he RAVES about it. He sezs it defines femininity which he likes.

* Got the game Little King’s Story for the Wii yesterday. A new game release and rated a 9/10 in Nintendo Power magazine. Sorely tempted to stay home and play video games all day but I won’t.

* One of the Trio ‘played’ with a baby rabbit that had the misfortune to plop into our backyard and is now in Baby Rabbit Heaven the poor thing. Ewww. Seems like rabbits are the ‘thing’ here in the new ‘hood and no sign of those dastardly squirrels. For now.

* Ma head has been hazy and stonking these past few days. Hurts like the beejesus thanks to allergies, sinus and a shift in the barometric pressure. Blah.

* Mr here for the past few weeks *ace* and expect that to be so for another few weeks *wonderbar!*

* Almost drove to the old home twice last week as the car just seems to know where to go. Am dead curious to drive by but hesitate as that is slightly stalkerish and oh not cool.

* Missing the ex-son-in-law these days. Have since he and she split. I wonder how he is and what he is doing. If you are reading this and want to connect, I’d love to hear from you. You were in our family for 11 years and were like a son to us. Hope you are good.

Have a fantastic Friday!

Before I split with the kid’s dad, I knew I would be leaving him for good one day as the writing was on the wall. I thought it better to leave the marriage with two kids and only two, so went to get my ‘tubes tied’ to ensure that there would be no more babies then or ever.

At that time, I suspected and could only imagine how tough life would be as a single mom of two children and thought that my decision to be sterilized was a sound one.

Now remember this was over twenty-five plus years ago and I was about 23-24 years old at that time.

The doctor I went to thought I was mad and wanted me to get my soon-to-be-ex-husband’s permission for me to be sterilized.

Can you imagine?

I remember my heart skipping several beats and fill with terror as the mere thought that someone else could control me and my reproductive was overwhelming and frightening.

I told her that his permission was NOT warranted and I would eventually be leaving him.

She remarked that she would not get sterilized because what if she changed her mind and wanted more children or if something happened to her children, then she might want more to replace the ones she lost.

I looked her dead in the eye and said, ‘You have a stable relationship and a good source of income. You can not compare your situation with mine. I am in a desperate situation and plan to leave this marriage with only two children. I am poor and can not afford to provide for more than those two babies now and in the future.’

She looked at me and reluctantly agreed to have my fallopian tubes cut and I was sterilized a few months later.

Isn’t that incredible?

Those three words can move mountains, don’t you think?

I mean a genuine I am sorry not a I-am-sorry-only-because-you-are-angry-or-upset kinda sorry either.

Saying I am sorry leads to forgiveness and sets the stage for new beginnings, if that is what all interested parties choose to do.

I have noticed that some people could never say those words and would argue you to the ground to show you why they should not do so.

What is up with that?

Saying you are sorry and truly meaning the very essence of those words can be uplifting and yet makes one so vulnerable as well.

Perhaps that is my answer then.

People don't want to feel vulnerable and they definitely don't like to 'feel' wrong.

Have a great Thursday!

I know I raised my children differently, as one is a girl and the other a boy.

Oh the general rules were the same but, I gave a little more oomph to the girl for I felt that it was then and remains now, very much a man’s world.

Yes, yes, I know the world is changing albeit slowly and perhaps in another lifetime, everything will be different but I feel that for a woman to be successful, you have to try just that much harder.

Granted success is personal and defined as such but if you measure your worth in general, socioeconomic terms (as most of us do), then you are entering a predominantly patriarchal world.

geez, did I just hear a can of worms being opened?

I felt then, as I do now, that as my second child was born white and male, he would only have to put half the effort into being successful as the world was/is catered to folks like him.

Now, the girl excelled and the boy protested and both rebelled in their own way as such but that is life now isn’t it?

Did I do the right thing?

I believe so.

Would I change a thing?

Nope.

I recognize that my influence as a parent strengthens and wanes depending on numerous, outside variables such as peer pressure and so on. But THAT topic is a whole other 'Oprah' show.

NOTE: This is not meant to be a racist or sexist post so don’t even go there. Just ask a person of colour or a female trying to push through the glass ceiling and you will have your answers as to what I speak about. I have discussed this with my many friends of all shapes, shades and sizes and they agree with what I say.

Thoughts?

I was off today.

Off in the sense that my allergies were in overdrive, I had a mahoosive headache and it was basically an ARGHHH! kinda day.

Should have known what was coming down the pike as Monday was mostly ace till the end of the day when a tit was using his children as financial bait against their disabled mother and THAT whole process enraged me on so many levels.

He was holding them hostage and refused to return them to their mother who has full legal custody of those children.

I really need to scream loud and clear for those who can't and I bloody well did too.

Once the 'effer found out he would not gain any money for having those children, he quickly dumped them back onto their mother who was desperate to get them.

------------

This is doing my head in at the mo. I keep thinking of an innocent child being murdered and ponder the tragic loss of a young life.

Happens too often in one form or another these days.

------------

But tomorrow is another day, full of hope and possibility and I for one, can hardly wait.

That's my new mantra ^^^^^. It's a good one dontcha think?

----------------

By the time you will have read this, your day will be half over and my day just beginning, so I hope you have had a fantastic Wednesday morning.

Catcha later

Note: This post is in reference to my first marriage.
-----------------------------------------------------

The moment I said ‘I do’ I knew I had sealed my fate and would be spending some moments in the pits of Hell for those two words now bound me to another forever – the marriage for just under 5 years but because we had children together, then that’s the forever part.

The ceremony was quiet, only four in attendance, as we had snuck away like a thief in the night and advised our families what we had done a few weeks later. I must admit that my family handled that bit of news very well and kudos to them for I sure would not have handled it with half the grace and dignity they did.

Now as shocked as they were over the marriage, my family was doubly shocked once again when I announced barely five years gone, that enough was enough and I was leaving that marriage and moving on.

You just didn’t do that back then.

If you married, you married for life.

Lucky you, if the marriage turned out to be a good one but Gawd help you if it wasn’t.

You were doomed to spend your life in marriage hell.

You were expected to suck it up just as they did

But I wasn’t having none of that and left.

Just because the unwritten rules are there, doesn’t mean they can’t be broken.

Ta.

Speaking of dreams…I have two opinions of this matter.

Long, long time ago, I had wished so very much, for me to sit with both my parents and let them know what I dreamt for me, where I saw myself to be heading and hoped they would be ever so proud of me.

That was never to be, for one reason or another and not being unkind to them or to me but my dreams for me and the sharing of those dreams was not to be and life goes on for people were not ready to share or to listen to those dreams but if I could, I would say that if I had me for a daughter, I would stand up on a mountain top and yell to the world how utterly fantastic my daughter is and how so very proud of her I am.

AND

When I become a mother, not only did I give birth to a baby but I also gave birth to many dreams and heartfelt wishes for these babies of mine.

The first time when one of my dreams did not match the reality aka as your child’s dream for themselves, I was stunned and left speechless.

To move beyond that is necessary, for your dreams will not always match that of your child’s and that is okay and is to be respected for the life of your child is just that – their life and their journey and one can only hope they achieve everything they set out to do.

Ta.

Or I am open to a third option.

You decide what adjective or verbs to use to describe this story.

----------------

Almost thirty years ago, when I was heavily pregnant with my daughter, we (me and my daughter`s biological father) received a wedding invitation in the mail.

My daughter`s father was invited to be the Best Man at his brother`s upcoming wedding.

The father refused.

In fact, he refused to go to his brother`s wedding because as he put it `he didn`t want to stand up and be around people.`

He was then asked to at least show up for the wedding.

He refused.

He stated he `didn`t like a crowd.`

I was asked to show at the wedding so someone would be there.

I agreed.

Father-to-be then walked out the door after announcing that he was leaving me and his unborn child without a backward glance and would not return until I agreed to NOT go to the wedding.

I assessed the situation, knew deep down how much I was in over my head at that time and agreed that me and my unborn child would be better off in a home with a roof over our head than homeless and no money in my pocket.

Fast forward to last October when daughter married for a second time and there was her father, standing there, knee deep in a crowd of strangers making a toast to his daughter at her wedding.

BTW, daughter had recently reconciled with her father. He was not invited to her first wedding and by goodness her first husband could certainly tell you the character of her father.

Shame on me.

I digress.

Now...back to my question.

What adjectives or verbs would you use to describe those two occasions?

Ta.

When I was pregnant with my firstborn, I wished upon many a star that the baby inside would be a she. Back then, the marvels of technology could not confirm whether the child would be a he or a she as that was almost over thirty years ago.

So, as I grew bigger, so did my wishing and I just knew that since I so desperately wanted a girl, I would most assuredly get a boy.

Being a planner of sorts even waaay back then, I bought baby clothes in blue, green and yellow and DARED not buy pink.

After I heard her cry and the doctor announce that I was now a mother to a beautiful baby girl, I wept with joy.

Dunno why I wanted a girl so much but I just did.

To me, she was simply beautiful.

I had exceedingly high expectations for her and her life which, no doubt, caused a never ending source of pressure for her.

I had dreams of how her life would be, of where she would go and what she would do.

And for the most part, I think, my dreams for her have come true.

But the danger of putting your child on a pedestal is that they inevitably fall off for no one can live up to and maintain ridiculously high expectations as they are not only your child but a human being as well; full of hope and possibility and capable of making mistakes as you do.

Ta.

When I married for the first time, I decided NOT to take that man's name.

I was woman and hear me roar.

Sort of.

I believed at that time that if I took another person's name, I would some how lose my identity which was ridiculous really because I didn't even know who or what I was.

When I married the second time, I took my husband's surname which is now my surname (and rightly so) for many, many years now.

It just fits.

I never lost my identity but actually gained a sense of self.

It has everything to do with how you see a marriage coming together and I saw it as a unified unit, a coming together of two lives blending into one, separate individuals but very much together.

Felt good then and feels even better now.

Ta.

After I escaped from my first marriage, I decided that I was going to go to university. After all, I was a newly separated, 23-24 year old single mom of two little babies and someone would need to support them.

So off to the local high school I went to take some science courses. I finished those with an A+ average, applied to university, got accepted into two and in return, mailed off my acceptance letter to the closest university about 90-120 minutes away from where I lived at the time.

I announced my plans to my family and do you know there was not one person who encouraged me to do this? Not one offered congratulations?

Each and every one told me that I couldn't do it. That I would NEVER accomplish this goal of mine.

Shows what they know as I managed not only a Bachelor's degree but a Master's as well.

The Bachelor's degree I did out of spite and fear. Spite, to show everyone who said I couldn't that I actually could and fear, to get some kind of qualification under my belt as I had two little lives now completely dependent upon me.

I have looked back on this time in my life and recognize that what my relatives were actually saying to me was that they could never manage a university degree if they were in my situation. When they made that comment about me, they were really talking about them.

BTW, I did my Master's degree for me.

And I enjoyed every bloody second of it too.

Ta.

Yonks ago, when kids were planning weddings and such, Mr and I were invited to attend my daughter`s girlfriend`s wedding.

We R.S.V.P`d, bought the 8th place setting and waited for the date to roll around (as you do).

A few weeks before the wedding, daughter advised that this particular girlfriend and her beau were going to get married prior to the beeeeg wedding as the groom was having a bundle of nerves and didn`t want to do the `real deal` in front of everybody.

What`s wrong with that you say?

Well, lemme tell you.

The girlfriend and her beau planned to marry a few weeks before the wedding with only a select few knowing about it and then they were going to go ahead with the beeeeg wedding and all the guests (not including those select few) would think that the `happy couple`were actually getting married THAT day.

I told my daughter that if the `happy couple` did this, I would NOT be going to the second wedding as I found this deceptive, misleading and not something I would be party to as I happened to know the `real deal`.

(Daughter knew about this as she was one of the witnesses at the first wedding and told me about it.The parents of the bride and groom knew about the first wedding but did not go to it and carried on the charade at the second wedding.)

Now my daughter could not BELIEVE that I would do something so horrible as not attend the wedding and not offer any present or excuse as to why I was not attending.

As I pointed out, this `friend` was deliberately duping a hundred plus people into believing that what they were witnessing was in fact a faux wedding and out of principle I would not be party to something so wrong.

I did tell daughter that if her friend went forward and told everybody that she and her groom had actually gotten married a few weeks before and that this was just a big party well, then I would be more than happy to participate in the celebrations.

The friend did not.

So, Mr and I did not and we ended up with the 8th place setting of a china set to remind us of the value of honesty, integrity and just how much Mr and I value the strength of our word for if you don`t have that, what`s the point of it all?

Ta.

When the kids were teenagers, I looked around at all our wealth and ‘stuff’ we had acquired and thought, ‘Not going to add to this pile at Christmas’

Too much is not good on so many levels.

So it was off to the Salvation Army where I registered to provide for a family in need at Christmas.

We were to buy toys, food and other such things a family might need to celebrate a proper Christmas.

It was my intention that all of my family members (Mr, the daughter, the boy, me) would participate in one form or another.

Mr provided the money and it was up to the three of us to go out and buy the toys and the food.

Daughter on board.

Son was not.

Son was mightily put out that he would not be getting the typical haul at Christmas which is a normal response on his part and believe you me, he let me know all about it.

But, I wasn’t bending.

Daughter and I shopped till we dropped and then delivered the goods a few days before Christmas.

The family chose to meet us ‘Santa Claus’ people and started bawling when they saw what we had brought. Of course then, my daughter and I had the waterworks going then too. Pfft!

It was a young couple with three little kids all under the age of 10. Don’t know why they registered to receive a Christmas Hamper and that is not really important.

What was important is that my daughter, Mr and I participated in a beautiful giving of not only material goods but of also the giving of kindness and love.

On Christmas morning, as we opened up our meagre giftees. I thanked every one around the table and reminded them of how we just made some beautiful memories for another family.

I have never forgotten that time and I am sure that family hasn't either.

Ta.

Mr and I were having a convo the other day about whether it is better for children to hear the word no more often than yes.

We both agreed that a child needs to hear no more as they will adjust/adapt/blend into life's circumstances better than if they hear the word yes all the time.

But having thought about it a bit more, I think that a child also needs to know that a compromise can be reached rather than a firm no or a firm yes and that's that with no exceptions.

Children also need to understand that, at times, a no can turn into a yes and vice versa as flexibility is important as well.

I guess it depends what the issue at hand is and what the consequences would be if the answer was no or yes.

What do you think?

Goodness, this is too deep for a Saturday night!

Okay, so let's tone it down a bit.

How was your day?

...despite all my stories of my life's journey, I must also recognize that there are other voices to be heard, namely those on the other side of the fence of my thoughts and I bear them no harm or ill wishes.

I understand they view the world differently and that is to be respected.

I have no intention of trying to coerce anyone in viewing the world from my shoes as that is not my goal or my focus.

When I unfold my experiences and share with the world how it was for me back then, it must be noted that it is from my vantage point alone.

I wish them well and hope they are happy.

I truly do.

I encourage you to tell your story, in your own way, in your own venue.

Or not.

In other news, my Saturday is going to be a busy but relaxing one if you know what I mean.

Here's a pic (taken by my lovely SIL) of the ones I love the most in this world - my Trio and Mr outside our new house.

I luffs them I do.

NOTE: I am about to tell you a story from my heart. It's purpose is not to agitate nor aggravate but simply to educate. It is an explanation of sorts for friends from old, an offering of insight for new friends and for those that lurk in the dark corners.

-----------------

This is not my first blog.

It is my third.

My first blog was on BLOG.CA, it was www.blog.ca/user/TheMusingsOfAMenopausalMama and I enjoyed that blog.

That blog was killed when my maternal relatives decided that they took exception to my thoughts and my views and proceeded to slander me and my words for several weeks on blog.

They found that blog through my facebook where I had my blog link posted. And the only reason they found that blog was that I had recently reconciled with my mother about 2 years ago (after a very lengthy estrangement which is happening once again) and we linked up on facebook.

One thing lead to another and the rest they say is history.

The reason that I killed that blog was due to the intense and overwhelming disappointment I had in people who knowing nothing about me and my life, people who are 'kin' and decided to air their displeasure over me and about me publicly.

Many things were said about me which I found impossible to swallow especially when you maternal relatives have not had any contact with me for years. You have no idea who I am or what I am all about. How you made those assumptions about me was beyond ridiculous.

I believe you love the drama and chaos and you are more than welcome to it for I refuse to be party to that.

You can blame me for all your ills and why not the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq while you are at it?

Yes, I am evil, insufferable and horrid in your eyes. So what? That's your opinion and if it makes you feel better, then fine you win.

That experience made my blog feel tainted and so it died.

I think about that time and feel the need to air what is inside in order to let it go.

When my mother and I reconciled at that time, I was so hopeful over the possibility of us establishing some semblance of a relationship with a bright future ahead.

Boy, was I off the mark on that.

The fatal mistake those 'relatives' made was to take their grievances public and out of complete ignorance of me and my life.

That was their undoing.

I will never attempt to initiate or maintain a relationship with any of them as I do not trust them nor their intentions.

A leopard doesn't change its spots now does it?

Now, shortly after I killed the first blog, I started another blog with the linky www.blog.co.uk/user/menomamauk. I enjoyed that blog too. I discovered that my maternal relatives had discovered this blog as well, probably because the name was similar as the last one and that annoyed me to no end that they couldn't leave me be. I was and remain highly suspect on their intentions as to why they insist on following me in cyberland as I couldn't be arsed to follow them.

Bizarre.

Then, last fall 2008, I went through horrible personal challenges and had to kill that one as well. Several things almost broke me and I almost didn't make it through that time. If it wasn't for my Mr and my Trio, I simply wouldn't be here.

Now, here I am once again. Been here for a few months and love it.

I am stronger, in every sense of the word, plan on blogging till I head into a pine box and nothing will persuade me otherwise.

I know that my maternal relatives are stalking me here on blog, just watching and reading every post but so what?

It is not going to change what I do here.

If they start their nonsense up again because of this post while that is their problem and only reinforces my position now doesn't it?

I refuse to bow or submit to ignorance or pressure from anyone.

This is my life, my story, my blog and if you don't like that's your problem.

Ta.

the measuring stick

I never believed in mediocrity for my children.

Never.

I set the bar to an impossible height to which I knew they would never reach but if they got close that was the goal.

I knew that if I didn’t set a bar or set a ridiculously low bar to which they could easily surpass, then I knew they would never reach for the moon when they saw the stars.

Stretching themselves, going for something impossible that could be made possible, simply by trying, is where I was at.

I wanted them to do their very best at what they attempted.

Half-assed efforts were frowned upon, disregarded and new plans laid down.

Some times it worked.

Some times it did not.

the pretty girl

Isn't she pretty? SIL took the pic. WOOT!

the eye of the tiger

I have no idea where my personal (emotional) strength comes from as I didn't have any solid role models except for my Nana who I considered a strong lady.

I wasn't always this way.

I was timid, insecure, not confident and suffered poor self-esteem for years.

It was during my first marriage when I developed 'it'.

There was something inside me that would not die and fought against the miserable existence I had carved out.

As each day passed and I endured yet another surreal day, I felt something growing inside and I began to understand that in order to survive, I needed to stop that insanity one way or another.

So I left.

Me and the kids left their dad for one week.

As I began to understand what the alternative to leaving was going to be, I returned back to their dad as that alternative was frighteningly worse.

I immediately went into therapy for approximately one year.

Then I left again.

For good.

And I never looked back.

I knew that I owed the children another life than the one they would be facing even if that meant me developing a backbone and walking out.

Thank fawkity I did for that meant we all stood a fighting chance of peace and happiness out the door of that nonsense.

It was my responsibility as a mother and a parent to those two little kids to remove them from an abuser, an alcoholic, a philanderer and a control freak.

My children needed to be exposed to a safe, loving, nurturing environment.

And that is what they got.

the imposing parent

I understand that I am an imposing kinda gal that has energy to spare, vivaciousness oozing out of her pores and a tough negotiator with a critical yet loving eye.

I understand that with me around, it is tough to find your own voice.

I scale back my own self with those around that can’t cope with it and who are intimidated by the intensity.

That’s unnatural and kills me a bit it does.

I am only true to me, Mr and the Trio and a select, few others.

There are a few folks on blog whom I have met and they get the full impact of me as they embrace me and all I am.

You know who you are.

*mwah*

And I leave you with this....

I reward good behaviour and that’s that.

I try not to reward bad behaviour and do everything in my power not to. except for naughtiness at Blog Meets and then I am in like flint baby!

This was my m.o. when the kids were growing up and continues to this day.

When the girl was heading to university and the fees were due to be paid, Mr and I sat down with her and told her the following:

We will pay all your university fees and costs attached to it BUT you must study hard, you must pass and you must work during the summer months and use this money to pay for some of your schooling. If you fail, we will withdraw all funding and you will be on your own financially. Understood?

She agreed. We paid the fee. She kept her end of the bargain and we kept ours. Four years later, she graduated with a Bachelor of Chemical Engineering degree from a reputable university with not one penny owed.

NOTE: Both of my children are highly intelligent and capable of completing university so failure was never an option for them.

When the boy was heading to university (the second child to do so), Mr and I sat down with him and told him the same thing.

We will pay all your university fees and costs attached to it BUT you must study hard, you must pass and you must work during the summer months and use this money to pay for some of your schooling. If you fail, we will withdraw all funding and you will be on your own financially. Understood?

He agreed. We paid the fee. He partied hard and long during the first year of university. Some days he attended classes. Some days he didn’t. When asked how he was doing, he replied ‘great; getting A’s’. Come the end of the school year, he failed several courses and was expelled from university for one year.

We withdrew all financial support and arranged for him to move out of our home within two months as he was now on his own financially.

That’s The Mala Reward System.

Postscript: My son returned to university a year later and is now working on a doctorate degree. He worked at a retail store selling women’s shoes and also in a coffee shop to support himself.

After a few months of silence on both our parts, we reconciled. I purposely did NOT give him any money but brought him homemade food and groceries. As a matter of principle, I could not pay for his schooling upon his return for many reasons: to do so would undermine his sister’s efforts and the strength of Mr and I’s words.

That was several years ago.

The reconciliation was brief but good.

More on that later.

Ta.

Some people have it.

Most don't.

I mean some have flickers of it but the world wouldn't be in the state it is in if compassion was rampant throughout now would it?

Yonks ago, I took a good look at what I saw in my son and decided he needed 'compassion'. He was a teenager at the time and utterly self-absorbed which is what they do but he was missing a softer side, the compassionate side he would need as he travelled through life.

From my perspective, he had a harshness to him for people who were poor and not as privileged as him and I didn't like that.

As far as I was concerned, it was my duty as a parent to show him all sides to life and expose him to those who were not as fortunate as us and many others.

So I made arrangement for both of us to volunteer in a soup kitchen. We would be preparing the meals for people who couldn`t afford to feed themselves.

Oh my.

When he heard THAT piece of news, the backlash was hard and severe.

I persisted and D-Day came.

We bundled up into the car him jammering at me at the way and I finally said to him, `You can voice your displeasure (bit of an understatement that) from now until we hit the door but when we go through it, shut up and do what we need to do for the next two hours and don`t even dare to disrespect me or anyone else.`

Fawk me.

That whole process was a bleeding nightmare and I swear I suffered more than he.

I have no idea if he has compassion or not but I do know what I did was important and I have never regretted it.

Have a fantastic day people!

Hugs and kisses

the bone, bloody, bleeding tired

But a good tired it is.

The treadmill thingy inside near the fan flopped off but I continued to run on it as it screeched away and when Mr came home from walking the trio, he dashed down the stairs to see what his mad wife was up to.

He damn near had kittens as he couldn't figure out why I kept running on something obviously defective but that's what a Mala does now innit?

He fixed it but in the interim, I went out for my run. Ran 7 kilometres which did me in. Running outside is harder on me than on a soft, stable treadmill.

the other stuff

Mr met the neighbours directly behind us tonight. He is a right social butterfly that one. He is writing everyone's name down on a piece of paper with little blocks on it to match the house they live in nutter.

He tried to show me the names and where the paper was and I waved him off. 'I prefer to risk an awkwardly social and totally embarrassing situation every time I see them and struggle to remember the name.' sezs I.

Har.

Can't be arsed about it really.

I'll learn their names in due time.

**

One of the things that tugs at my heart is to see either people in the latter stages of their life or children cry because they are ever so sad.

Saw a man about 62 years old the other day. He looks 20 years older as life has just about done him in. He shouldn't be struggling so hard to exist at this stage of the game. He is lonely, poor, unhealthy and I will be Gawd-damned if I am going to watch him walk around in the state of the clothes he had on his back. Sorted him out and that's what I am paid for.

Then discovered that a child of four was being a punching bag for his father which had me seething on so many levels. It is difficult to maintain your composure when dealing with this abuser when all I want to do is rip his head off.

Effer.

I don't feel sorry for the abuser. I do feel sorry for the little child.

***

I know I have been letting out the stuff in my heart and in my head which has been great to get it out there simply because I have nothing to hide, it is part of who I am and where I have been and it feels like the right thing to do.

Oh don't get me wrong.

I have discussed this with many over the years, both in a professional capacity and otherwise, but to reveal here in a public forum of cross-sections of my life's journey so far is liberating.

I am not ashamed of what was as I can't change it anyways. I am just telling you what it was all about back then for me.

Know what I mean?

xxxxx

In response to what I wrote here, I can also tell you that if I hadn't made those tough decisions as a parent and as a person trying to survive something utterly horrifying, me and the kids would have had a very different life than the one we have had.

Long, long time ago, I apologized to the kids for my shortcomings as a parent.

BUT...

And this is a big one....

If it wasn't for me...

* you would not have been born
* participated in school activities
* eaten 3 meals a day
* gone to the dentist
* gone to the doctor
* travelled the world
* met your spouses
* developed a love of education
* went to university
* learnt to tie your shoes
* learnt to ride a bike

...and the list goes on.

The point being...I was there. I was there when no one else gave a damn. I loved you up and cared for you when another wouldn't.

When I met Mr, he loved you up as well and cared for you when another wouldn't.

We were loving, good, decent parents that 99% of the world's children would kill for. We gave you a life and a damn good one at that.

I refuse to accept any responsibility for what ails you now. That is yours and yours alone to own and work through (or not).

I will no longer beat myself up for your shortcomings.

You are an adult now.

You figure it out.

Or not.

NOTE: This is not said with hostility but with a transfer of ownership of personal responsibility for one's actions and life circumstances to exactly where it belongs.

x

the Mario Hat

This is my reward for being a Platinum member of Club Nintendo.

Mario™ Hat - This is a true-to-life replica of the iconic red hat worn by Mario. Keep it as a collector's item, and display it with pride.

Note: Awards will be delivered by November 1, 2009.

I am not selling this hat. I will wear it with pride.
Pics to follow in November.

hahahahaha...

my teats are a size floppy

Now that I lost all that weight and despite doing tons of hand weight exercises, I can assure you that my teats are now a size floppy. Wot?

Have a fabulous Wednesday!

*mwah*

Here we are....

...picture taken over 25+ years ago.

We had the world by the tail back then.

We were happy.

We were solid.

We loved.

We bickered.

We loved even harder after that.

We were a unit and it was simply us against the whole, wide world.

As long as we had each other, then there was nothing that life could throw at us that we couldn't handle.

I look at that picture and see a happy family full of life, love and promise and I wonder, just where did it all go?

I am also reminded of how ignorant I was in those days. I thought you could have everything you ever wanted in life. You simply had to work hard and poof! you would get it.

That's true to some degree and yet so misleading.

You see, there are many variables in life that you can not control. And those variables are the deal breakers of some things that are ever so precious to you.

At the time that picture was taken, I was embarking on university studies. I was a single mom weaving her way through life and taking two, little kids along for the ride.

When I discovered in university, that my actions could potentially wreck havoc on their little lives and ever more importantly, their little hearts, I damn near died.

I was utterly horrified that decisions I had made, some carelessly and some well thought out, would cause grief, hardship, angst and heartache in such amazingly beautiful yet vulnerable people.

Who knew?

xxx

a word of caution

The flood gates have opened and the words are tumbling out so beware as you will be in for some laughs, tears and everything in between.

It is all part of my rebirth I believe.

My life has been an interesting one. How I got to be where I am today is important to understand as it gives you incredible insight as to where the strength, the humour, the tenderness, the determination and the willingness to survive was ignited.

My life is wonderful now and I am incredibly blessed. I am happily married to a wonderful man. I have money, food, shelter, love, support but it is not without its thorns.

Sharing my stories is meant to be enlightening but also inspirational for if I can survive what life threw at me, so can you.

Know this my friends... that I am in a strong place now and am okay with letting my vulnerabilities out.

judgement

I have been guilty of, and absolutely detest,judging and being judged.

You just never know what people have experienced in their life and to assume you do know is naive and stupid.

If you really want to know what they have gone through, ask them.

It's that simple.

This is difficult to read so this is what it says...

YOU KNOW WHAT? HOW DARE YOU?
YOU DON'T KNOW ME. YOU HAVE
NO IDEA WHERE I COME FROM, WHERE
I'VE BEEN, HOW LONG I'VE BEEN THERE, WHAT
I HAD TO DO TO GET TO WHERE I WAS TO WHERE
I AM NOW.

xxxxx

I want to tell you a story about a little boy. This little boy is now a man and I do not know how he is doing these days. The events and times were seen from my eyes and are remembered as follows...

I remember when you were born. You took a long time to get here, your mom was exhausted from the get-go and it took a bit for you two to bond.

light bulbs

I was utterly agog Saturday when I asked a grocery store employee where the light bulbs were and he remarked that they were 'out' but should get some by Tuesday.

*blinks*

They are doing some renos in the store but seriously, light bulbs are crucial are they not?

paper muffin cups

Couldn't find the muffin cups either and recognize that they are not crucial to one's existence *eye twitches* but it is reaaaally nice to make your raisin bran muffins with the batter plopped into the tin now isn't it?

your in-box

I clean up my email messages, deletions, in-box frequently, like every day, okay, like when I get the message not that I an anal retentive...hahahahahaha and am just wondering what you do?

What is the number of email messages in your in-box?

Mine is two.

Once I have dealt with those, then there will be none there for longer than a few hours.

Ta da!

Many, many, many, maaaany years ago, I used to be quite angry.

I was angry at everyone, mostly those who stood in my line of fire and blamed everyone else for my problems.

It took awhile but I have come to understand that this type of anger comes from fear. And boy, did I have a lot to be frightened of.

The what, the who and the when is for another time and another place but I can tell you that once I began to accept responsibility for my own actions, life got better.

That's not to say that anger doesn't have its place as it does.

But this type of anger is destructive and crippling which is fine if that is where you want to be but I for one, have had a belly full.

I just can't swallow any more and haven't been able to do so for a long time.

Anger manifests itself within and I believe that physical and psychological consequences are triggered by the suppression of this nasty emotion.

How I got to be so angry needed to be looked at, worked on, let go, revisited, worked on some more and then tossed that baby to the curb I did for at the end of the day, it is me with the migraine, the depression, the IBS and on it goes.

And for what?

For trying to change what happened?

That's impossible to do.

And more importantly, it is not mine to change as I don't own it.

They do.

So there.

And yet another comment on yet another post inspired me to think of what I would tell someone I loved that has since died but I had an opportunity to send a message to them, whatever would I say?

My Message to My Nana

If I could, I would tell my beloved Nana that I am sorry she died alone, buck naked with only diapers on.

I would tell her that I am sorry her son and the nursing staff medicated her to the point of unconsciousness so she would not disrupt the others as she wailed and grieved the loss of her eldest son.

I would tell her that I would have taken her back to her home of over 55+ plus years and fiddlesticks to the cost after she broke her hip so she could spend the rest of her dying days in the comfort of her own home.

I would tell her that despite having promised I would look after her son (my father) when she died, the moment she drew her last breath and the funeral was over, he abandoned all contact with me as his new wife prefers it that way and that`s that.

I would tell her that I miss her each and every day but fear not for egads, I do believe I am just like her, so heaven help the rest of the world.

And you?

Given a chance, whatever would you tell that someone whom you love, cherish and miss?

I was commenting on a comment (as you do ) and there I was off on a tangent thinking about our first tv we had as kids.

Pre-tv, we amused ourselves with outdoor activities and neighbour kids.

Post-tv, we were glued to that box, with the four stick legs, that had the white/black, grainy, snowy, connection and I, for one, marvelled at this thing's ability to have pictures and tv shows inside it.

Oh the wonderment of it all.

And yes, I am THAT old.

Now my paternal grandparents had a 'COLOUR' tv which was beyond marvelous. And, they had mucho cartoons on Saturday mornings so for us to go to visit them in the big city (we lived in a small town) was incredibly exciting!!

To top off the whole trip, my parents would stop midway en-route to our grandparents and we would get a humungous barrel of Kentucky Fried Chicken and scarf that down within the hour.

I loved peeling back the deliciously fried chicken skin and popping that in my mouth. Forget the chicken meat as it was all about the deep fried skin!

Nowadays, I wouldn't touch that stuff upon point of death.

Blah!

Way back when, folks disciplined their children with something other than logic (at least in my neck of the woods they did)- a wooden spoon on your arse and if you were reallllly bad, then you were told 'You just wait till your father gets home!'

Translation - you would be forced to lower your pants and get a strapping with a leather belt.

Last strapping I had, I was fourteen years old.

Nowadays, if you did that, you'd be in jail.

But that was the norm back then.

In fact, the educational system allowed teachers to 'strap' the students when they misbehaved.

My, we have come a long way.

Dunno how parents 'discipline' their children these days as it must be tough. I think the only way to do it would be to remove a cherished item (iPod, cell, toy) or not allow something they like (favorite tv program) and the key to making it all work is to be consistent in your message as to what is appropriate and what is not.

I raised my kids in between both of those times - you could still use a wooden spoon et al but it was avantgarde to reason with your child instead of physical discipline.

And I used both when the time, the mood and the situation called for it.

And that is just the way things were.

And you?

What did you do to discipline your child(ren)?

That it is better not knowing something that is upsetting, especially if you lived a good nine months without knowing THAT and then *poof* now you know it and it sucks cajones?

On the upside, knowing THAT has stopped my yearning as soon as the words reached my ears so YAY!

And the message received is crystal, bloody clear as to the intentions which is off-track and defensive with no room for growth.

But..... well, you know what I mean.

xxxxxx

what to do?

Woke up to a jumping labby, a hopping Sammy, an excited Puddum Pop and a purring kitten all on our mahoosive bed this morning.

The dogs were starving dontcha know and needed to be fed tout suite or they would perish.

S'ok.

We pretended to be sleeping and whispered to one another which is tres dangerous as you then risk life and limb as that seems to be a signal for the pooches to jump on the bed, then on to you only smother you in sloppy kisses and tail wags.

Everyone is fed and watered, including ourselves, so that's sorted.

Moving into a typical slow mo Saturday which we crave after a busy week.

Laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning and I must insist on stopping by a video game store to check out some games for the Wii as I deserve it you know.

this parenting bizness

Have been thinking about when I was a young 'un and how us three kids drove our mother mad. We were baaaad asses or typical kids depending on how you look at it.

Parenting is the toughest job in the world.

If you embrace parenting as it is suppose to be embraced (at least in my opinion which is never wrong...hahahahaha) meaning that you 'parent' your child, providing guidance, protection, boundaries, the necessities of life, then it is a damn, tough job to do.

And you can be guaranteed that they will hate you for it but it is your job to prepare them for the world so that they can survive on their own in this tough, mean, old place.

To that end, my parents did a damn fine job at least from my perspective (I have two brothers but we are estranged and therefore complete strangers to one another so I couldn't tell you who/what they are all about.)

And so, I thank them for that.

Ta.

Been listening to Mr over these past few days and *ping* on goes the light bulb in my head. Only took bloody 18 years for me to get to this point but egads, Mr is onto something.

He has such a healthy sense of self.

He respects himself and moves through the world with that at the forefront.

Oh the very idea.

He doesn't tolerate disrespect and simply walks away from it quietly without a backward glance.

He is a quiet, peaceful man who believes that people need to live their lives as they see fit without imposing themselves or their life style onto him nor he to them.

He is dignified, patient and treats others how he wants to be treated.

WTF?

I guess I just wasn't ready or open to learn from him and his ways.

Ta.

It's Friday, the sun is shining, Mr is back and I want to be the sole chief in MalaLand.

Kinda, sorta.

I mean I want him here but I want my way.

Not all the time liar but....well ya know.

Making relationships run smoothly can be a right pain in the arse.

It is waaaay easier to take and give at your own convenience than not.

*sighs*

Anyhooooooooo dontcha hates that word but sometimes it is all ya got...

Have a fabulous Friday, be good and if that is impossible then be very, very bad!

What is it with us women who insist on the whole she-bang just to get married?

What about the marriage?

Or is it just about the wedding, the dress, the flowers, the guest list?

All show and no substance?

Am I just showing my age and intolerance for fluff?

Pfft!

I thrive on patterns and routines.

Makes me feel safe, secure and on track.

I embrace change though, with both arms wide open, which upsets the patterns and routines.

Bit of a challenge that.

Embracing change whilst holding onto the patterns and routines.

I have settled into a new routine in my new home and plan on creating a new life to go with all the newness if you know what I mean.

It takes some adjusting to finding your feet so you can firmly plant them in on the ground. But I will get there.

In other news, the weather is a bit shit for July being fallish type weather but today is set to be 25 degrees celsius so break out the champers!

Have a fabulous Thursday.

*mwah*

the nekkidness

Whatever is next?

Get too hot whilst sleeping at night and hafta toss my pj's off to the side.

Pfft!

Bloody, menopausal tart!

Oh behave!

the killer bikini wax

Here's another reason why I wouldn't want anyone south of my border trimming the garden so to speak...a rampant and potentially life-threatening bacterial infection of the skin and the underlying tissue (cellulitis) as a result of a bikini wax at a reputable salon.

Blah!

Let that be a lesson to you ladies.

A smooth desert is not necessarily better than a fluffy garden.

*coughs*

Full article here.

Myself, I am better at faces.

Never forget one.

But I bloody well forget names.

Oh you can tell me your name a gazillion times and at some point it will stick in my pee brain but I will never forget your face.

Met one of the neighbours last night and he introduced himself and his son/grandson (?) to me and I'll be buggered if I can remember what they said.

I just smiled, nodded my head and announced my name.

Tit.

In other news, it is suppose to be warm today *thanks be to Gawd* and I discovered some dresses in a box that are gorgeous and fitting for such a lovely day.

Have a fabulous Wednesday.

Who do you think did this?

And what do you think it is?

In other news, I have been reading various posts that are inspirational and have helped me sort out stuff in my head and my heart.

And I thank you for that.

*mwah*

Kitty kitty has decided that life here was worthy of exploring and with a th-whack off the bathroom counter, he announced his arrival in my bedroom.

Purred, explored and purred to his heart's content last night the wee git.

Kept me awake most of the night with that which is my fault I know.

In other news, Puddum had a dodgy tummy yesterday and christened a corner of the basement off the workout room with a poop. I was mightily pissed and yelled at her so much that she booted up the stairs to the master bedroom and tried to hide on (yes that is right - on) the bed.

She shivered and shook as I grabbed her to take her to the evidence and had a wee on the new comforter as she was so scared.

The wee git #2.

In other news, a dear, long time friend of mine (who moved away to the States) has made contact and we are about due for a long blather on the phone.

We miss one another and the good ole days when she and her hubby and 2 other couples were part of our 'group' and we did everything together.

Here's to the good ole days and the new ones peeking around the corner.

Have a fantastic Tuesday.

Went to work today.

Been away barely 10 days.

Discovered that one of my colleagues is in hospital with a broken pelvis, clavicle, ribs and such.

Was on a horse riding adventure out West.

Been riding for decades and now look.

Bloody horse tripped in a fjord, rolled over and damn near crushed her.

She will be okay. No nerve, spinal damage but a long rehabilitation ahead of her.

You just never know what life is going to throw at you now do you?

Pfft!

When in my own bed, I MUST sleep on my right side with my legs just so or I can't go to sleep.

Having said that, when I am in a bed other than my own, those rules fly out the window and I get sleep however my body flops into the bed.

Isn't that strange?

Or is it?

...........

Started watching the new HBO series 'Nurse Jackie' starring Edie Falco and it is fab. Highly recommend it. She is strong, frail, hard. soft and vulnerable in all the right places.

..........

Back to work this morning pfft! but I am kinda looking forward to it as I am starting several new projects that are interesting and will spice things up a bit. Mr heads back out there today and that's that.

Have a great Monday.

In my next life, I am coming back as the perfect daughter and the perfect mother.

I am already the perfect wife, so I guess one out of three isn`t too bad.

The thing is, nothing is perfect.

Even perfection has flaws.

I realized long ago that perfection is impossible and you simply must do the very best you can do and when you know better, then you can change if that is to be the order of the day.

Or not.

In other news, I bought a cooling fan for the lappy as that llwnt was overheating and conking out all the frickity time which was doing my head in.

Sorted.

And how was your weekend?

Try as you might, all the wishing in the world will not make another pick up the olive branch.

The only thing you can do is extend it and then get on with your business.

Decisions were made to offer encouraging words of love but if one is not interested then that is that.

Disappointing at the very least but one must understand that life goes on and to focus on what you do have is crucial as there is goodness, love, hope and happiness right under my very nose.

And how was your weekend?

Ta.

I am addicted to my homemade granola topped with yogurt and freshly sliced berries for breakfast. Nom!

Having said that, Mr and I are having guests for the weekend and I plan to cook enough food for an army on Sunday morning.

You name it and I'll be cooking it.

Tis good to have variety and all.

I know when ever I have visited my friends across the pond (Mira, Jenray, Paddy, Scooby, Ships, QM, Nick, lonemum), the breakfast I was served was bloody gorgeous.

If I forgot anybody, it was not intentional. I am old ya know!!!

Not only was the company excellent but the food as well and I must say that when someone takes the time to make me food, I am ever so humbled and grateful for their efforts.

You darlings!

Thank you!

In other news, we are having a family bbq this afternoon that begins at 2pm. The last bit of furniture is going to be delivered today by 2pm. (not our choice). Can you see the shenanigans unfolding here in MalaLand?

Have a fabulous Saturday.

*mwah*

Dunno if you understand how much of a nut case Miss Molly G is but these pictures are a clear indication of the zippitty-do-dah of her personality.

I was cleaning one of the bathrooms and Molly decided to have a lie down in the tub.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Isn`t she cute?

I LUFFS THAT DOG!!!!!!!

pics were taken on my phone and I am shite at taking pics okay?

Went to church for over a year, well over a year ago.

It was a Catholic church.

Went through the motions to get my first marriage annulled.

Climb and surmounted that hurdle.

Then one day I stopped going to church.

Many reasons why and no one specific.

At the time, church and worshipping, praying to someone above (you can call them God if you wish) eased my soul and the ping in my heart.

I moved on when I didn`t need it any more.

Doesn`t mean I don`t believe in religion, worshipping and so on.

Just means I am okay doing what I am doing now.

Just rambling and letting the thoughts out if you know what I mean.

Ta.

* avoided Molly G's wagging tail, wet nose and dawgy licks at 6am
* listened to Molly and Sammy play rig-um, smig-um with a stuffed animal at 6:30am
* flopped out of bed at 7:13am to be greeted by a jumping chocolate labby
* scarfed homemade granola, yogurt and freshly sliced strawberries
* blogged, went for a walk, had a snack, sorted out boxes, set up computer in Game Room
* made quesadillas and salad for lunch
* played games on the Wii, cuddled Molly and Puddum, chatted to Mr
* nicked Mr's ankle with a steel bit
* apologized for nicking Mr's ankle with a steel bit
* ran 5 K
* fed all the animals in my zoo
* had a leisurely bath
* ate dinner
* watched a movie, blogging

Ho hum.

*taps fingers*

Holidays are great and I am relaxed and all that jazz....but...we sorted out the house quickly and now what?

Wellll, I am going to enjoy the remaining few days before I return to jail work and am going to take advantage of this slowing down living bidness as before you know it, it will be over.

In other news, kitty is still not up from the basement but he is howling and making lots of noises downstairs the wee bugger. He did venture up a couple of times and the Trio chased him back down the stairs the wee gits.

Ta.

enigma - a person of puzzling or contradictory character

Someone once called me this.

True?

I believe myself to be crystal clear on who and what I am.

Just asked Mr what he thinks of me being an enigma....

His response...'I wouldn't call you an enigma Ma.' Well what would you call me Da? In one word....well, I would call you 'vivacious' Ma. Full of life.'

Could be worse dontcha think?

Yes.

It is true.

I am a child.

I am never going to grow up.

I haz it.

The Platinum status with Nintendo.

Deal with it.

Neen-ner-neen-ner.

Well are you?

We have a two garage setup at the new digs and Mr has proclaimed a couple of times, 'Anyone wanna take a bet who will take off a side mirror over the next few weeks?' whilst looking directly at me.

*shifts nervously*

Wot?

So far, so good but it was a bit dodgy backing out of the garage this morning.

*gulps*

Bit too much pressure on me and might as well go ahead and nick the side mirror just so I can relax if you know what I mean.

In other news, it took Miss Molly G only 5 days before she was drinking out of the toilet in the basement. Cheeky bugger. Gotta be shutting the lid now.

Today was a relaxing kinda day. I will be more than ready to go back to work on Monday though. Keeps me busy and out of trouble. Not that trouble and me are exclusive *coughs*

Ta.

I am always pondering over the why's and the why-nots the previous owners gave up this house and downsized.

What I know is this:

* He is a dry-waller by trade and that business has been slow.

* She was unemployed and was looking for a 'career' for some time now.

* He put a lot of time, money and effort into finishing this house. They bought it before it was built and over the next four years, he finished the basement, fenced the backyard, replaced all the flooring, added pillars and other cosmetic touches to this house.

* Spoke with 'she' a few days ago and she states she loves the new house they bought as it is smaller and easier to clean.

* He has remarked that they won't be staying too long in the smaller house but once things improve, they will upgrade again.

Now, I can tell you the different scenarios I have created in my wee head but the truth of the matter is that no on knows what goes on behind closed doors and the only people who truly know the why's and the why-nots is he and she and that is a fact.

In other news, Miss Molly has decided that she may sleep at the end of the bed on the plush carpet in her parents' bedroom but when the clock chimes 6am, she will begin her campaign to get one or the other parent out of bed to trot downstairs and feed a starving labby!

When she is dissuaded by me or he, she then ambles down the hallway, down the staircase, trots over to Sammy and thumps her tail against the wall as she is so dang happy to see him.

She then climbs back up the stairs and heads over to me or he and plunks her big wet nose in our faces to get us out of bed.

Repeat until lazy arse parents get moving.

Ta.

Putting the new keys on my key chain, I noticed that there were six keys that were on the chain and I have no idea what they are for.

How many keys are on your key chain that you have no idea what they are used for? Or am I the only knob that has redundant keys hanging about?

In other news, I had my acupuncture appointment this morning with Isabela, booted it home and spent the afternoon playing games on my Wii.

Was a great day.

*mwah*